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		<description>Discuss </description>
		<link>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org</link>
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			<title>doug says:</title>
			<link>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-391</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Here is something to play with. It works a treat for me!

Science demonstrates to us the value of relaxation in a number of ways. One effect of relaxation is that the brainwaves slow down – the brain is not so excited! For much of my time, when I am involved in activity, the brainwaves are at a level called ‘beta;’ they are very rapid (17 to 30 cycles per second, on average). When I sit and listen to some soothing music or relax in a sun-lounger, then the frequency of the brainwaves is reduced to a level called ‘alpha’ (8 to 12 cycles per second, on average.) In alpha state the intellect – the discriminatory element of my thinking – is less active and may be ‘on hold.’ Alpha waves are 3 to 5 times more powerful than beta waves. 

There is an interesting contrast between the two states. If, in the beta state, I suggest to my self thoughts such as, ‘I am a peaceful person; I embody peace; my every interaction is filled with peace,’ I will probably follow them with such thoughts as, ‘No I’m not. I got angry when such and such happened. Remember what I said to so and so.’ The intellect questions the thoughts of peace. In the beta state, when the intellect is ‘on-hold’ the prompted thoughts about peace actually pass into the sub-conscious unchallenged.

 Repeat the thoughts a few times on each alpha state occasion and create these occasions several times each day. Within a couple of days a change will have taken place.

The next time you find yourself in a situation in which you would normally become angry or irritated something new happens! Out of your sub-conscious comes the thought, ‘I am a peaceful person; I embody peace; my every interaction is filled with peace.’ Now that may not be entirely true but the difference is that, at the moment in which you feel the emotion rising, you have choice. Do I want to go down the road of anger, as I would have done in the past or do I wish to attempt to maintain a peaceful state?

The only change is, I now have choice whereas before I was limited by my own reactive nature. However, choice is everything!]]></description>
			<dc:creator>doug</dc:creator>
			<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 20:45:53 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-391</guid>
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			<title>doug says:</title>
			<link>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-390</link>
			<description><![CDATA[Just the recognition of how restricting or even damaging emotions can be to a relationship is a first step. 

I recall many years ago experiencing a moment of blinding anger when I was threatened by my ex-wife with not being able to see my son again. My focus in that moment was entirely on what was my right; my needs. Even in the following days, our exchanges would quickly come into anger, the intensity of which would leave me (and presumably her, also) feeling quite sick and drained of energy.

Only after experiencing this for a number of conversations did I decide during one subsequent phone call that I didn’t want to ‘give away my energy.’ At that time, even though I still felt angry, I was able to control that anger. As a result, for the first time since this situation had begun some days before, was I able to hear her pain.

Reflecti ng on this some years later, I gained some interesting insights. In the first exchanges where the anger was most intense, my perspective of the situation was very, very limited – it was as though I was looking through curtains that were drawn together all but for a small space. On the occasion when I decided to step back and begin to ‘control’ my anger, to not give away my energy, I was able to recognise something that had not been ‘visible’ to me before, in other words, the curtain had opened a little more. 

It was through this that I began to see that the magnitude of my emotional involvement i.e. the degree to which my emotions controlled me, dictated the degree to which my emotional curtains were drawn together or opened. Blinding anger meant they were all but closed; anger, they were a little more open; frustration, perhaps they were half open; irritation, maybe 70% open, mild distraction, 85%, no emotional involvement and the curtains are fully drawn back. As the emotional ‘curtains’ open, more and more opportunities are ‘visible’ to me and so available to me to offer some way forward, to placate the individual, to smooth over the situation, to support the other persons learning.

With this understanding, I begin to watch my emotions as they arise and decide whether I wish to allow them to continue, unchecked, knowing that if they do, my response to the unfolding scenes will be limited and perhaps one I will come to regret later. Being ‘the watcher’ of my emotions provides me with ‘choice’ in the way I act.]]></description>
			<dc:creator>doug</dc:creator>
			<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 16:41:31 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-390</guid>
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			<title>quest says:</title>
			<link>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-389</link>
			<description><![CDATA[For me, on many occasions, it has been time that heals the pain associated with what someone has done - when my own emotional involvement has begun to fade. I get a sense, from the blog, of how it is that my emotions adversely affect my thinking and so bring me to a point where I feel I 'need' to punish or at least, to some extent, get my own back. 

How can I not get emotional? How can I see what has been done to me any differently? Okay, I see that the 7 or 8 questions in the blog can help me think about it in a different light but how can I hold on to that? My reactions seem to be stronger than any internal questioning. ]]></description>
			<dc:creator>quest</dc:creator>
			<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 11:09:50 +0000</pubDate>
			<guid>http://spiritualityandjustice.brahmakumaris.org#comment-389</guid>
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